Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Your dad touched me again.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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