white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
