So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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