Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
