Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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