his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
