You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
