I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
