she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
