Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
