so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
