Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
