And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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