I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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