how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
