i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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