after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
