There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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