i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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