Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
