dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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