i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
