You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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