I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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