Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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