may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
