Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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