sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
