she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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