JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
