i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
my nose is crying tears of wow.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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