I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
