Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My ass is underappreciated
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
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