Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
