We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
