i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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