Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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