you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
