Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize