girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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