I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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