i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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