Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
