I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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