Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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