his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
