The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
