she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
