If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
