Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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