You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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