Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
