Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
