i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
