At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I had to cum in my sink.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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