sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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