Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
