I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize